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Tuesday, January 17, 2017
How do you know when you're done having babies? What reasons are there that form this conclusion? Are there steps to making the decision?
Image above provided by Beautiful By Benson Photography.
I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but I also always envisioned my parenting skills to match the magical Mary Poppins. I thought it'd be perfect. Well, it is far from perfect. I don't know anyone that would say that it's not hard work being a parent. Having more children may seem overwhelming and you might not know if you want, or can handle any more.
Multiple factors are involved in choosing when you're done having babies and one must rationalize what works best for their situation. What works for me may be the opposite for another family. It's not an easy decision to make, sometimes. If you aren't sure, you can write out a pro/con chart to help find out where you stand. Below are some reasons that parents feel influenced their decision.
Baby supplies, toys and entertainment, education, medical costs, college tuition, so many obligations that you feel might squash your savings.
Having any health issues like a high risk pregnancy or a child with special needs could possibly interfere with the option of trying for more.
If you had a difficult birth, a long recovery from a c-section or have lost your child at birth, the idea of trying again might be too much to handle.
Suffering from PPD can be life-shattering, the thought of living through it all over again may be unsettling.
TOO MANY YEARS BETWEEN KIDS
The age between children is a big player in the baby-making game, if you feel the gap may be too much, that can influence your decision.
NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR MORE KIDS
I have heard parents say that they feel adequately focused and dividing that attention could take away from their children now. Or other responsibilities could be their priority.
SPACE IS LIMITED
House is too little, kids are already doubled up or just having a vehicle that's not large enough, with no means to upscale in a quick fashion can be bewildering.
DESIRE FOR MORE SLEEP
After years of restless nights, the desire to get more sleep can be enough to snuff out the idea of more babies.
If you can hold a newborn baby and feel a sense of freedom, your longing is no longer, your heart doesn't feel like it's missing something, you may be done!
My first child was a unicorn baby- rarely cried, was very happy. I was so lucky to start out with him. Nonetheless, it was difficult juggling life with just one child. I was not ready to have another for quite awhile. After my second child, I knew I'd be happy with even more, and we had 3 girls in 6 years! My second and third child left me questioning how far I could go... I had pregnancy complications, traumatic deliveries and feeding difficulties. Ultimately, I felt that after the age of 35, I'd want to call it quits. We welcomed our 4th child right in time, and luckily she has been easy.
Oh boy, do our children keep us on our toes... My husband works all the hours he can to provide financially for all the things we need and want. I am the life coach, therapist, nurse, chef, maid, chauffeur, shopper, hair stylist, teacher, security officer, basically the multi-tasking manager. Adding another child into our party of 6 is not a scenario either of us wish for. Our 4 complete us. Stick a fork in it, we are DONE.
How did you know you were done having babies? Were any of these reasons your reasons too?